Posted by … Or An Appeal to Empathy
I am sometimes surprised by how strongly people (mostly white folk) will come at me when I choose to talk about discrimination and/or prejudice. People who I would otherwise consider allies and friends seem to be very comfortable debating these topics as though they are esoteric for me and not at all personal. They may be outwardly polite about it. But it’s a form of invalidation that always catches me off-guard.
A Model Idiot?
I think this invalidation stems from the pervasiveness of the Model Minority Myth, which presents Asian-Americans as a monolithic group whose cumulative financial success contrasts with the struggles still experienced by non-Asian PoC (Blacks, Latinos, Indigenous, etc). The Myth papers over the economic struggles faced by individual ethnic or demographic groups underneath the greater Asian-American umbrella, including LGBTQ of Asian descent. It drives a wedge between Asians (both South & East) and Blacks. It stereotypes Asians as perpetually foreign and incapable of being American.
The Model Minority Myth bolsters the idea that Asians experience less (significant) hate & prejudice. Because Money. It leads many to believe that such experiences, when not blatant and outright, are somehow less impactful simply because Asians are a financially successful “people”. In the past, I partly bought into this idea. South Asians are, per capita, the wealthiest minority group in the country and have attained that rank in a relatively short period of time. There are many and varied reasons why this is the case. It’s not as simplistic as our work ethic as compared to other PoC. They all work pretty hard, too! I used to buy into the idea that discrimination against us was less important or less prevalent because it has not stopped Desis from attaining financial success. After all, financial success under Capitalism is the true American shibboleth.
Pain & Distraction – The Organizing Mechanisms of Capitalism
While it is true that South Asians have been a presence in the USA for a shorter period than other PoC or even East Asians, our financial success does not obviate the trauma caused by hate & discrimination. It does not mean that we are somehow more accepted and never marginalized; nor that the barriers to our entry into the American consciousness are somehow lower or even non-existent. It does not mean that uplifting non-Asian PoC makes it okay to gloss over the struggles of Asian-Americans.
I will repeat my fervent belief that the pie can get bigger for all of us (including white folk) even whilst we are currently working towards a more positive & equitable society. That doesn’t make it any less easy. But it’s still worth the effort. (Hey, what do you think those South Asians who have money might do with it if they always felt so welcome and integrated into American society? Huh).
The All-American Salad Bowl, Not Melting Pot
It is tempting to say that I don’t do a good enough job articulating my own struggles, in part because I am grateful to be financially comfortable. I don’t think debate & discussion is inherently bad and I don’t need anyone’s pity.
But when I talk about struggle – about being screamed at to “go home” or being called a terrorist (pretty recently actually) or being seen as less than or not seen at all, I’m not being selfish or centering myself only.
I am speaking from a lifetime of friends who also feel they’re still on the outside looking in. Or who have kinda given up and side-stepped the question by retreating into their own cultural communities. I am speaking from a lifetime of wondering if, on the one hand, my place has been given to me solely because I’m Brown. On the other hand, I am speaking from a lifetime experiencing the well-meaning but callous indifference of people who cannot or will not see that the All-American dream should not mean treating everyone like they’re generic Amurrican. (Salad bowl, not melting pot).
That term – All-American – does it conjure a picture of a South Asian? An East Asian? Don’t lie to yourself; of course not. Even I struggle with finding that picture.
Like many Asian-Americans, I’m just seeking to be included as part of the notion of the All-American and all the incredible things that can entail. And that deserves more than just listening. It deserves at least some empathy and not to have our experiences so quickly invalidated because some of us have good jobs and a roof over our heads. I realize that such empathy isn’t easy, especially when others are struggling with just the basics, but it’s at least a baseline.
