Posted by Eight months ago, I had to put my dog to sleep. Oreo was about 12-14 years old; I had him for six of the best years of my life. Towards the end, he had kidney issues and possible heart issues as well. His legs had grown stiff and he could barely make it around the block whereas he had been able and wanting to walk for hours in his youth. He lost interest in food and dropped a lot of weight. I fear he might have suffered a stroke because he went downhill pretty fast in the last few days.
It was the right thing to do. It was also the worst thing I’ve ever done.
Despite those trying times and no longer having to pick up poop a couple times per day, I regret not one minute that I had him. I don’t regret the difficult first few months when we were adjusting to each other. I don’t regret that it took years for his personality to come out. I don’t regret the last year when I barely took a vacation outside Pittsburgh. I don’t regret the difficulties of him having more and more accidents in his last year when he hadn’t had more than one accident in the previous 3-4 years.
Dog owners (ugh I do hate using ‘owner’ but it’s the word that works) often like to joke that we prefer our dogs to people. Sometimes, that’s true. My mom used to joke that I would never find a girl as dedicated to me as Oreo. Good. I don’t want that in a human relationship.
The relationship we have with our dogs is fundamentally different than relationships between people. It’s not a question of better or worse. It’s just different. A dog is not a proper substitute for people. But nor can a person truly substitute for a dog. Let me repeat – the two types of relationships are fundamentally different.
Tonight, a Beagle named Miss P won the annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. She is the grand-niece of Uno, the first Beagle to win at Westminster. Uno’s victory is one of the reasons I adopted a Beagle.
I haven’t gotten a second dog (yet) because I’m trying to see what life is like without one after 6 years of Oreo. Frankly, it sucks. It feels like there is a hole in my life right now that cannot be filled by more activities, more work and more people. Just as there would be a hole in my life if I dedicated all of my time to a dog and spent less time on hooman relationships.
I am in no way, shape or form, the person I am today without Oreo. Patience, love, dedication, sacrifice, routine, silliness, being grounded, living in the moment… and yes, learning to deal with poop.
I guess I just miss my boy.
