Posted by Every once in a while, I like to put on Chris Rock’s comedy special Bigger & Blacker. If you haven’t seen it, do so. Rock talks about the breakdown of the family, the battle of the sexes, political scandals, gays, racism, healthcare, insurance, school violence, gun control, sex, etc. It’s a comedy special so you take it with a grain of salt but even though some of the references are old, the overall themes are still relevant.
The special was on Comedy Central last night and here’s a great quote from it:
It don’t make no sense to be a racist, sexist, or nothing, but…. it don’t. It doesn’t. It don’t make no sense ’cause whoever you hate will end up in your family.
That’s right, you don’t like gays, you’re gonna have a gay son.
You don’t like Puerto Ricans? Your daughter’s gonna come home with ”Livin’ la vida loca!”
The more dogmatic the person, the bigger the fall. No where does it come more into focus than in family life. In addition to the examples cited, I’d add religion or ethnicity to the mix.
You don’t like Middle Easterners? Your son’s bringing home a nice Shi’ite Iranian girl.
You don’t like Christians? You’re going to fall for a church-going Southern Baptist.
Everyone gets their comeuppance. Especially in this country. And the more strongly you rail against something, the more likely it is that you will be confronted with that situation in a way that tests your beliefs and your empathy.
Look me in the eye and tell me I’m going to Hell because I haven’t accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and personal savior.
Tell your children they can’t marry their partner because you’re too afraid of what others would think or what you think is the only definition of right.
I wrote about how (some) anti-SSM’ers feel that their stance isn’t homophobic; that it’s rooted deeply in their religious tradition. And I’ve read some of the most committed and thoughtful religious conservatives write about how, even if they had a gay son or daughter, that they would want to stay committed to their principles. Love the sinner, hate the sin, right?
For their sake, I hope these folks never have to cross those biases, to look into someone’s eyes and tell them:
“Yes, you are disordered. I don’t want you to live your life that way. But I still love you.”
“No, you can’t marry the man you love because the community might think you’re a bad Muslim. It’ll be too complicated. But I still love you.”
“No, she’s not right for you because she’s not one of our people. But I still love you.”
These aren’t easy issues to overcome. I have my own biases (sometimes against, well, Muslims). My mother, in a bit of uncharacteristic cruelty, used to tell me that I was fated to fall for a Cleveland girl because of my (rational) bias against the Mistake by the Lake. I’ll get my comeuppance someday too. I just hope I don’t father a child who falls for an Ohioan. <shudder>
