Posted by One of the commenters over at Rod Dreher’s blog made such an astute and balanced thought that Rod had to single it out. And so do I:
Speaking as a Korean-American who was raised in a high-pressure home environment (though not to the extreme of Tiger Mother, which my mother found much too harsh), there are definitely diminishing returns to the methods described by Chua. Success appears defined in narrow, materialistic terms, and thus the only incentives appear to be either increased wealth or improved status. As Engineer Scotty points out, there seems to be little room to consider the common good, and how best one can serve it. But acquiring wealth and status are different things from finding one’s vocation, of committing oneself to work that one loves or that is rewarding because it helps others. Being under stress to excel academically tends to destroy the joy of learning and make one averse to taking risks or to trying something new. To truly excel at anything, one must learn how to challenge oneself, rather than respond to external pressure or even material incentives. There is a barrier to true and substantive achievement beyond receiving top grades or academic recognition that can only be cleared by the love of one’s work and a sense of duty to one’s discipline. Dangling prizes like money and status is a substitute for true accomplishment, and achievement that is purely directed toward material gain and social status is not likely to be lasting. [Bold mine]
I grew up in much the same environment as the commenter – high-pressure to succeed (South) Asian environment but not as bad as Tiger Momma. My parents worshiped at the altar of PhysicsChemistryBiologyandMathematics. All one word, always together. The sciences, anything that can be measured, quantified not qualified. Arts & culture played a role in our lives but were never placed on the same plane as PhysicsChemistryBiologyandMathematics. I can still hear my parents making fun of people who were “Shakespearean Drama” majors. I don’t even know if that major exists. (It probably does).
Yet, one of the lasting and most pleasant surprises of my life is to see my father, in his retirement, return to what he has described as his first love – writing. He’s written several books in Bangla. And he’s happy. As happy and prolific as I’ve ever seen him.
Furthermore, it’s all good and well to choose a job that pays the bills. Once, I asked a friend of mine who was a very talented actor in high school why he didn’t go into the theatre as a vocation; he replied, “it wouldn’t pay my bills.” Today, he’s a successful lawyer, a tangential acting career if ever there was one.
But paying the bills means little if that’s all there is to purchase.
