Posted by Or… In the USA, we make fun of every fucking religion & creed!
I had a shirt in high school with a list of all the Religions of the World according to the axiom, “Shit Happens.” Here’s a copy of what it said.
- Taoism: Shit Happens.
- Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before. (alt: If Shit Happens, Blame Pakistan).
- Islam: If Shit Happens, Blow Something Up. (alt: If Shit Happens, It is the Will of Allah or If Shit Happens, Blame the Jews).
- Zen: What is the Sound of Shit Happening?
- Buddhism: When Shit Happens, is It Really Shit?
- Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit Happens.”
- 7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens on Saturdays.
- Protestantism: Shit Won’t Happen if I Work Harder.
- Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It. (alt: If Shit Happens, Cover It Up).
- Jehovah’s Witness: Knock, Knock, “Shit Happens.”
- Unitarianism: What is this Shit?
- Atheism: There is No Shit.
- Agnosticism: I’m Not Sure if Shit Happens.
- Mormonism: Shit Happens in Utah. (alt: Shit Happens Again, and Again, and Again…)
- Judaism: Why Does This Shit Always Happen to me? (alt: If Shit Happens, Charge More Interest).
- Rastafarianism: Let’s Smoke this Shit.
And since it’s election season:
- Democrats: If Shit Happens, Tax Someone. (alt: If Shit Happens, Blame the Rich).
- Republicans: If Shit Happens, Cut Taxes. (alt: If Shit Happens, Blame the Poor).
- Independents: I’m Not Sure About This Shit. (alt: If Shit Happens, Blame Everyone but Me).
- Economists: If Shit Happens, Model It. (alt: If Shit Happens Again, Use the Same Model).
- Capitalism: If Shit Happens, Market It, Package It and Sell It.
- Communism: From each according to his shit, to each according to his shit.
- Texas: Don’t Tread on My Shit!
- Pennsylvania: The Keystone of Shit Happens.
- Ohio: Poisonous Nut Shit
- Florida: Does this say Shit Happens or Shit Happens?
- Iowa: We Wanna Be the First Shit to Happen!
- California: see Rastafarianism.
- Smurfs: La la la la la Shit!
