Posted by Among desi’s who don’t live in the motherland, there is sometimes a sort of pre-emptive hate-hate dynamic between strangers of the different sexes.
The reason for this subterfuge is simple – we don’t trust each other not to be ethnocentric. Often, one sex will think the other is only interested because they’re both brown. There are other cute girls in the office. There are other cute chicks in da club. You can’t just happen to cast your eye on the one with the nice tan. Back up, fool.
If you’re at a non-desi party nightclub and you see a cute desi chick (usually the only other one at that club) acrosst the way, you immediately avert your eyes. If there’s a new girl at work and she happens to be cute and brown, in a (western) world where the two of you might be the only south asian folk in that division, you have to be careful in talking to her about anything other than work.
So in order to be fair and un-ethnocentric, you talk to the cute desi girl’s black friend instead. You stay perfectly, unflinchingly, stolidly professional with the new girl at work. You can’t ask your coworker who might know her a little bit better if she’s seeing someone. Why should you ask – it’s because she’s brown, innit? It can’t be because she’s cute and just happens to be brown.
I admit it’s a tough sell to appear neutral. But variety is the spice of life, so to speak, and adding a li’l color to a white-washed world can’t be a bad thang.
